I am a former World of Warcraft player. I didn't quit because I was
tired if the game or because I felt I was too enthralled by the game.
Life ha to take priority, and after a recent move my Internet
connection is less than suitable to play online with. Lately I've been
talking with a WoW friend about raiding, and it got me thinking about
my pre-raiding activities. So thanks to a bout with writer's block and
a bit of dramatic embellishment, here is my late piece.
Tonight's going to be a long night...
The guild is active tonight. Endless chatter with people gathering
regents, potions and flasks to give them a little more of an edge for
the night. I can hear the sounds of blacksmith hammers as they spend
their day repairing our equipment, worn and torn from past battles.
People are peddling their goods and services, cutting gems and
enchanting armor and weapons.
Once again, I'm in front of the barracks in Stormwind. Once again I'm
sparring with the training dummy, as I do before every night before
we raid. Tempering a blade to strike with or armor to protect with is
easy, but tempering one's skill and resolve takes practice and
patience. Others will depend on what I am able to do.
The elements fuel my strength. My totems strengthen all allies around
me. My hammers crush with the power of massive boulders as the target
burns with the heat of molten rock. My strikes hasten as wind surges
around me, and a storm churns within my body. I unleash a bolt of
lightning from my palm directly into my victim's back, hearing the
cackle of electricity as it courses through it.
The training dummy stands there, happy to withstand the flurry of
strikes and spells that is has become accustomed to over the years. If
this thing could taunt, it would make the perfect tank. But alas, it
looks too kind. It makes me a little guilty for beating it
mercilessly... but not enough to halt my training on it. So I'll keep
beating my wooden adversary...
Eventually I stop the onslaught to catch my breath. Physically and
mentally drained, I walk away with my head down ashamed. For all the
power I wield, I never feel like I'm strong enough to help those who
need me. But I'll do what I can tonight. I'll keep getting stronger
with them... for them...
Nothing left to do but wait to be called upon...
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Reach Out To the Truth: A personal exploration inspired by Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4
(I am going to do my best to avoid major spoilers. With that said, the game is three years old. If there is the a spoiler or two in this piece, then forgive me.)
Who are you? What do you keep the outside world from seeing? Why do you keep that part of you hidden from those around you? These are questions that we rarely ask ourselves in our everyday lives because we don't need to ask these questions to live a hum-drum existence. It's certainly easier to to go through life without asking these sorts of questions.
So what's the point of wondering?
Throughout Persona 4, you get the chance to see those around you live their lives as would normally. You'll wake up, go to school, talk about rumors with your new friends and just be a normal high school student for a while. But eventually, they are forced to face the side of them that they feel they must repress. It's the side of them that they fear facing, because they want to fit in with the world around them, and it's easier to be what others expect you to be then to be who you want to be.
First, we need some context as to why these people have to face themselves; and in typical RPG fashion it is due to extreme circumstances. Your protagonist represents you, as you choose his actions throughout the game. Somehow, you find that you have a power that allows you to go inside of televisions and into another world of sorts. In this world, it is explained that the monsters are called shadows, and come from suppressed human emotions. These Shadows tend to be violent, especially if one denies their own Shadow.
The earliest case of Shadow rage comes from when you explore the Midnight Channel with Yosuke Hanamura, a classmate at Yasogami High and the son of the manager of the local department store. He urges you to help him inside the TV world to investigate the strange death of Saki Konishi, whom Yosuke has a crush on. When arriving to where Saki was last located, they find that is resembles her families' liquor store. They begin to hear the voices of her family and friends judging her for working at the department store despite the harm its been causing the Central Shopping District which has seen many shops closing in the time since the department store has been open.
While in the Midnight Channel's copy of the shopping district, a second Yosuke appears. He speaks of his hated for being dragged to a boring small town because of his father's job. The Shadow Yosuke says that he used Saki's death as an excuse to find adventure in the Midnight Channel because he was bored of the small town. Yosuke denies these feeling, but has to either face them head on or perish to his (now raging) Shadow-self. He eventually admits to himself, his shadow-self, and to you that those feeling are within him. By admitting that those negative feelings are within him, he's able to find closure and gain his facade to use when facing the world – his persona, Jiraya.
We typically don't go through the same trials as those in video games go through, but we should be able to relate to what the characters in Persona 4 are going through in an emotional sense. We have many aspects that define us; some of which we let the world see, while others we hide from the world and ourselves. We are afraid of being defined by things we are ashamed of that we suppress them until they consume us in a shame spiral that can be difficult to come out of, emotionally. When we can admit to ourselves the good and the bad about ourselves, we have a chance to become a better person.
I started this article to be able to try to figure out parts of myself that I'm suppressing. I hoped that I could find clarity into how I can be a better person for the sake of those around me... and I think I found something that I can admit to. I'm afraid of putting in the effort to become a better person and to get ahead in life, because it's always been easier to go along with those around me. I've been afraid that if I try and fail then I will be in a worse place than if I don't try at all. I'm still having trouble with this problem, but by admitting it I hope I can work to grow into something more than I am now. I want to be a better person, and only by facing my shadow can I accomplish this.
Who are you? What do you keep the outside world from seeing? Why do you keep that part of you hidden from those around you? These are questions that we rarely ask ourselves in our everyday lives because we don't need to ask these questions to live a hum-drum existence. It's certainly easier to to go through life without asking these sorts of questions.
So what's the point of wondering?
Throughout Persona 4, you get the chance to see those around you live their lives as would normally. You'll wake up, go to school, talk about rumors with your new friends and just be a normal high school student for a while. But eventually, they are forced to face the side of them that they feel they must repress. It's the side of them that they fear facing, because they want to fit in with the world around them, and it's easier to be what others expect you to be then to be who you want to be.
First, we need some context as to why these people have to face themselves; and in typical RPG fashion it is due to extreme circumstances. Your protagonist represents you, as you choose his actions throughout the game. Somehow, you find that you have a power that allows you to go inside of televisions and into another world of sorts. In this world, it is explained that the monsters are called shadows, and come from suppressed human emotions. These Shadows tend to be violent, especially if one denies their own Shadow.
The earliest case of Shadow rage comes from when you explore the Midnight Channel with Yosuke Hanamura, a classmate at Yasogami High and the son of the manager of the local department store. He urges you to help him inside the TV world to investigate the strange death of Saki Konishi, whom Yosuke has a crush on. When arriving to where Saki was last located, they find that is resembles her families' liquor store. They begin to hear the voices of her family and friends judging her for working at the department store despite the harm its been causing the Central Shopping District which has seen many shops closing in the time since the department store has been open.
While in the Midnight Channel's copy of the shopping district, a second Yosuke appears. He speaks of his hated for being dragged to a boring small town because of his father's job. The Shadow Yosuke says that he used Saki's death as an excuse to find adventure in the Midnight Channel because he was bored of the small town. Yosuke denies these feeling, but has to either face them head on or perish to his (now raging) Shadow-self. He eventually admits to himself, his shadow-self, and to you that those feeling are within him. By admitting that those negative feelings are within him, he's able to find closure and gain his facade to use when facing the world – his persona, Jiraya.
We typically don't go through the same trials as those in video games go through, but we should be able to relate to what the characters in Persona 4 are going through in an emotional sense. We have many aspects that define us; some of which we let the world see, while others we hide from the world and ourselves. We are afraid of being defined by things we are ashamed of that we suppress them until they consume us in a shame spiral that can be difficult to come out of, emotionally. When we can admit to ourselves the good and the bad about ourselves, we have a chance to become a better person.
I started this article to be able to try to figure out parts of myself that I'm suppressing. I hoped that I could find clarity into how I can be a better person for the sake of those around me... and I think I found something that I can admit to. I'm afraid of putting in the effort to become a better person and to get ahead in life, because it's always been easier to go along with those around me. I've been afraid that if I try and fail then I will be in a worse place than if I don't try at all. I'm still having trouble with this problem, but by admitting it I hope I can work to grow into something more than I am now. I want to be a better person, and only by facing my shadow can I accomplish this.
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